The I Grok Spock Affair

by nickovetch

Two weeks later Napoleon was typing up a report while Illya was talking to the laboratory section about a new sleep dart they were testing. He hung up the receiver.

"I wish I could use something as simple as a hypo-spray on the enemy," he mused.

"A what?" his partner asked.

"Nothing, Napoleon. Something the doctor uses on 'Star Trek,'" he replied.

Napoleon smirked. "You mean Dr. McCoy?" he asked smoothly.

Solo wished he had a camera, for the Russian's jaw dropped onto his desk at the revelation that Solo had seen 'Star Trek' and actually knew something about his favorite television show.

He closed his mouth with an audible snap and said incredulously, "You watch the show...admit it, Napoleon."

"Well, I may have seen the last couple of episodes, but..." he trailed off, a little embarrassed.

Illya frankly goggled at him, grinning from ear to ear. Napoleon Solo, Number One, Section Two, Chief Enforcement Agent of U.N.C.L.E.-New York, a 'Trekkie?' It was too much to take in.

He decided to let Solo off easy, but not too easy.

"All right. This Friday, my apartment, 8:30 sharp. I'll introduce you to the finer points of Trek."

Napoleon snorted. "You mean there are finer points?" He had an image to keep up, after all.

Illya sighed. This wouldn't be easy. But getting Solo into the ranks of fandom would be a major coup and great blackmail potential to boot.

Napoleon glanced warily at his younger partner and said, "Why are you grinning?" Illya made him very nervous when he grinned.

"Oh, no reason, no reason at all," he said easily.

Napoleon decided he didn't like that answer. He would have to watch the little nerd closely.

It was exactly 8:15 p.m. when Napoleon arrived. He used their private code on the door, and shifted the package on his hip. A moment later, the door opened to reveal Illya in his familiar black turtleneck and jeans. The smell of popcorn cooking drifted into the hall.

"Napoleon, right on time. Come in," Illya said. He took the bag from his partner and peeked inside. Junk food looked back at him. His stomach growled appreciatively at the goods, and he grinned at Solo.

"Anyone ever tell you you're a cheap date Illya? If Thrush ever discovers your fondness for Twinkies and Pepsi, we're in trouble," he joked.

"Go turn on the set. It starts in ten minutes." Illya went to the kitchen to check on the popcorn. "Tonight's episode looks like a good one. The previews showed Romulans in it."

Napoleon sat on the worn couch and put his feet on the coffee table. "Romulans...those the guys with the bad tempers?"

Illya frowned. This would be harder than it looked. "No, those are Klingons, remember? Romulans are related to the Vulcans..."

Napoleon broke in, "So they're cousins to Dr. Spock?" He silently counted to three and then looked up at Illya innocently.

"Really, Napoleon," he began and then saw the grin on Solo's face. Illya sighed dramatically and flopped down on the couch, shoving a bowl of popcorn at his partner.

The theme music began to play and the show's teaser began. It showed a Romulan stealing a piece of machinery from a ship's engine room. As the thief turned to make his getaway, the camera panned back to reveal it was Captain Kirk in a Romulan uniform.

When the commercials came on, Solo elbowed Illya and said, "Why does Captain Kirk have pointy ears?"

"There must be a logical reason. Keep watching and we'll find out."

"You know," Napoleon mused, "That Kirk is a good character. He's the only one I like."

Kuryakin snorted.

"What?" Solo asked.

"Captain Kirk has been described as 'The Great Tomcat of the Galaxy.' He chases anything in a skirt. Of course you like him, you are him." Illya paused and looked at Napoleon. "I wonder why I didn't see that before?"

Solo allowed a small smile to lift the corners of his lips. "Well, Illya, if I'm Kirk, that must make you Spock."

"Spock?" Illya brightened at the comparison.

"Yes; loyal sidekick, brainy scientist, very logical...notice any similarities?"

Illya blushed and looked at the floor. Napoleon seemed to be getting the feel of the show, that was for sure. Maybe a little too well?

Napoleon grabbed a handful of popcorn and said, "Hey, the show's on again."

The next forty-five minutes were spent quietly taking in the show. After the closing credits, Solo nudged Illya and scowled at the blond man.

"I thought you said Kirk was the lady-killer. How come Spock got the girl in this one?"

"Well, he never got the girl before. Even that time when he was engaged..." Illya stopped as Napoleon punched him in the arm.

"Sure, compare me to Kirk and then Spock gets the girl. If I didn't know better..." he trailed off musing. "I have a reputation to protect you know, Illya."

Illya smirked wanting to comment on the type of reputation, but he wisely kept quiet.